CONTENTS
1. Come to Jesus Daily devotional- Monday – The Fatherhood of God
- Tuesday – God is our model
- Wednesday – Do not embitter and discourage
- Thursday – The embittered embitter
- Friday – Do give hope and courage
You can listen to the message at: Link for audio content
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1. COME TO JESUS DAILY DEVOTIONAL
One of our goals as a church is to spend at least 20 minutes every day in prayer and worship out of the bible. I hope you find this devotional helpful toward that end.
This week’s text particularly focuses on fathers. However, there is an important approach to life for everyone which is taught here: we all have the power to enrage and discourage people; alternatively, we can encourage people to live lives of hope in God.
MONDAY – THE FATHERHOOD OF GOD
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
We can read today’s text in two ways: it’s a direction to Christian parents, but it also teaches all of us how God, our Heavenly Father, treats each of us. He does not ‘embitter’ or ‘discourage’ us. Rather, through His word and Spirit, He deals wisely, patiently, restoring courage and hope. The Psalmist writes,
‘As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust’ (Psalm 103:13-14).
When we receive Jesus as Lord and Saviour, we are also adopted into the family of God. There are many things that could be said about who God is but, for the Christian, Him being our good Father is to be a principle way of relating to Him. J. I. Packer writes
'What is a Christian? The question can be answered in many ways, but the richest answer I know is that a Christian is one who has God as a Father.’
RESPONSE
Think – are you full of hope and courage? if not, are you in a consistent and healthy relationship with the Father?
Meditate and pray from the following texts,
‘Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.’ (John 1:12-13)
‘For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. (Romans 8:15-16)
TUESDAY – GOD IS OUR MODEL
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Ephesians 6: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Who are our heroes or heroines? Who do we want to be like? For Christians, men and women, God, particularly as He has revealed Himself in Christ, is to be our greatest inspiration.
Think – Who inspires you and why?
Fathers, God is your model
Although, of course, both parents are equally involved in raising children, Paul addresses fathers because they are the team-leader in the household. Fathers are to set the tone for family life. John Piper writes,
‘The overarching guide for every father should be to live in such a way that his children can see what God the Father is like. They ought to see in their human father a reflection — albeit imperfect — of the heavenly Father in his strength and tenderness, in his wrath and mercy, in his exaltation and condescension, in his surpassing wisdom and patient guidance. The task of every human father is to be for his children an image of the Father in heaven.’ (John Piper)
RESPONSE
All of us need to learn to imitate God. In particular, we are to model ourselves on the love of God as revealed in the gospel. This is what we read in Ephesians 5,
'Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.’ (Ephesians 5:1-2)
Think – How would living this text effect the key relationships in your life?
Finally, a note to Fathers – Our text (Colossians 3:21) is particularly focussed on you. Too often fathers can get their models from their past and other influences that are not modelled on Jesus. There’s too much to say, but, how would living a life of worship, like Christ, who ‘gave himself up for us, as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God’ help you to be an inspirational dad?
WEDNESDAY – DO NOT EMBITTER AND DISCOURAGE
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Ephesians 6: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
God asks both children and parents (and husbands and wives) to focus on their responsibilities more than their rights – what the other should be doing for them. If we all focussed a great deal more on what God asks of us, rather than demanding what others should be doing for us, all of our relationships would be more Christ-like and healthier.
After encouraging children to obey their parents (3:20), Paul immediately adds that parent should not ‘embitter’ or ‘exasperate’ their children; parents must not abuse their authority!
Do not embitter
Embitter (Erethizó) – means to stir up, to arouse to anger, provoke, irritate, incite.
If you are a father, it’s your responsibility, no matter how your children are behaving, to deal with them in a way that is not overbearing, and which provokes their anger. And, Likewise, if you are a mother, you have the same responsibility.
Embittering leads to discouragement
Discourage (Athumeo) – means losing heart, being listless, spiritless, disinterested, moody, sullen.
All of us, and particularly fathers, need to avoid discouraging people through being harsh, critical and over-demanding.
Sometimes when I’m driving I can be overwhelmed with the number of signs and directions from the sat-nav. Parents, likewise, can be too prescriptive, protective and corrective. This can provoke children and young people into becoming angry, and, ultimately, hopeless.
RESPONSE
Do you embitter and discourage? Are you angry and hopeless?
If you are a parent - do you nag and correct your children too much? How often do you practice holding your tongue?
If you are a young person – Do you feel embittered by your parents? Could you talk to them about this?
All of us – Was our upbringing ‘embittering’? Are you pessimistic about life? Do you need to forgive? Do you need to allow your heavenly Father’s love and greatness to restore your courage and hope?
THURSDAY – THE EMBITTERED EMBITTER
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Ephesians 6: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Yesterday we began to look at what it means for parents to embitter their children. Embitter, (Erethizó) means to stir up, to arouse to anger, provoke, irritate, incite; and too much of this in a relationship will ‘discourage’ - will cause one to lose heart and hope. This is something that we can all do, and, in particular, something that fathers can fall into.
In many situations where we feel threatened, we can be tempted to provoke people. One only has to log onto social media for a few minutes, and in-between the postings about cats and babies dancing, there is provocation everywhere.
Much of the time we hide our ‘shadow’ - the person that we are on the inside. On-line, or in stressful situations, however, we often reveal who we are. If you feel provoked (embittered) one will often provoke others. Likewise, if we are discouraged, and lack a hopeful vision from God, we will be cynical and pull others down.
Think – how would the love and peace of God filling our hearts cause us to be less easily provoked, become less provoking and spread true hope in God?
RESPONSE
Jesus challenges fathers in today’s text, but he also calls all of us to examine our own hearts. We embitter and discourage because we are not sufficiently inspired by the Spirit. Jesus wrote,
‘A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.’ (Luke 6:45)
Mediate on the following text. How would ‘letting the peace of Christ rule in your heart’ cause you to be less angry, defensive, discouraged and discouraging?
Colossians 3:15-17 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
FRIDAY - DO GIVE HOPE AND COURAGE
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Ephesians 6: 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
It’s not enough, in our parenting and relationships, to just stop doing bad things! Love is also about what one is to do. Surely, implied in Colossians 3:21, is the teaching that God wants us to leave the negative - stop embittering and discouraging, and pursue the positive - start encouraging!
Aim to give the opposite of discouragement
The greatest aim of fathering, parenting, or being a good friend is to encourage. This means at least three things,
- Hope – To give a vision of a better life from God.
- Motivation – To show people that God gives them a meaningful part to play in His work in the world.
- Courage – To inspire people so that, relying on God’s strength, they are prepared to do difficult things for what is better.
Words have power to encourage
A major source of discouragement and encouragement are the words that we use; we read in Proverbs,
‘The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing' (Proverbs 12:18).
We read an account of the encouraging use of words,
‘And Saul’s son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God. “Don’t be afraid,” he said…’ (1 Samuel 23:16)
RESPONSE
Will you use your words to encourage or discourage?
The following text says so much to all of us,
‘Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.’ (Isaiah 40:30-31)
If you are a parent - Your children ‘grow tired and weary’ - they become discouraged. Will you use words to encourage them through hope in God?
If you are a friend - Your friends ‘grow tired and weary’ - they become discouraged. Will you use words to encourage them through hope in God?
A FINAL WORD TO PARENTS
Fathers, specifically are warned, ‘do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.’ Rather, they are encouraged to ‘instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.’.
Here are some ways that a father (and, of course, a mother can do this also!) can embitter and discourage:
- Demanding that children do too much around the home or in regard to school etc.
- Always telling them how they are failing to meet the standards.
- Rarely praising them.
- Disciplining in anger and inconsistency - you are unpredictable.
- A Poor approach to correction - constant low-level disapproval rather than clear, firm discipline.
- The father Fails to set an example of hope in God; their hope and joy are in other things and so their children are discouraged from hoping in God. It’s very hard to give the hope that one doesn’t have oneself!
Let the words from Hebrews spur you on in your parenting,
‘And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching’ (Hebrews 10:24-25).
We often quote a verse like this, and rightly so, to point to the benefits of church fellowship; but, how often do we ‘consider’ how we can spur on our children?
If you are a parent, what could you do this month to connect with your children and encourage them?
The goal of Christian fathers (and mothers) is to raise children who are not discouraged and hopeless but are encouraged and hopeful in God.
2. COMMUNITY GROUP/FAMILY STUDY
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DISCOURAGE OR ENCOURAGE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Read Colossians 3:21 & Ephesians 6:4
Opener – have you experienced someone making you happy or hopeful whilst you were having a bad day or season in your life?
Introduction
This week’s texts particularly focus on fathers. However, there is an important approach to life for everyone which is taught here: we all have the power to enrage and discourage people; alternatively, we can encourage people to live lives of hope in God.
Discuss together
- The Fatherhood of God – Why is it vital for us and our relationships that we live in the knowledge of our adoption into the family of God? (Romans 8:15-16)
- God is our model – How will all of our relationships be massively improved by seeking to imitate Jesus? (Ephesians 5:1-2)
- Do not embitter and discourage – How can fathers (or mothers) embitter and discourage us? How do you embitter and discourage people?
- The embittered embitter – If we are angry and discouraged, we will pass that on to our family and friendships etc. Read Luke 6:45. What does Jesus say about our heart in this regard, and how can we ensure that we overflow with encouragement?
- Do give hope and courage – It’s not enough, in our relationships, to stop doing bad things! Love is also about what we do - we are to give the opposite of discouragement which is, Hope, Motivation and Courage. What scriptural truth, or personal experiences, could you teach to break discouragement?
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